OutSpoken

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  - Deuteronomy 31:8

It was the main theme in The Kerygma Family’s August 11, 2009 online reading. It consoles and inspires me to, well, start again.

These past few weeks, I was again starting to lose hopes of being able to start to build my children’s future.I was knocked down again just when I was only starting the first steps into fulfilling my dreams for my family.For the last eight years of my life, I’m stuck on the initial phase of reaching my goals for myself and for my family; I never got into the the second phase at all.

It is a good thing that my kids and my family are with me.Just to see them revives my fighting spirit.Now, thinking about my kid’s future, I am discouraged no more.

No, I have not abandoned my friendster account.  I just got so busy the past months but now, I’m back online.

And besides…

My old pal broke down.  Now it has retired and I weeped for a while because 8 years is 8 years. For those 8 long years, Good Old Pal was my interactive companion even in the wee hours. It gave me so many interesting things to do when I was bored, and a lot of useful information when I needed some.  It even helped me earn some bucks.

Years passed and my Pal remained loyal.  It served me with all its might and dedication.  Better counterparts came out but I never thought of replacing it.  Besides, I have developed a special attachment to this Good Old Pal of mine because he stayed with me for good times and not-so-good times. It has proven its worth for the last 8 years.  It never complained, it never failed me rain or shine, morning or evening, from dusk ‘til dawn.  I even begged it to stay active even if it wanted to take a rest…but I should understand that nothing is permanent in this world. 

So sometime in January, Good Old Pal became weak (after a 2 week marathon with my two kids).  After that, it was never the same again.  Good Old Pal became slow in everything I need it to do.  Its energy deteriorated in a very fast pace from then on. 

Then  one day, when I was trying to wake it up, it did not respond anymore. 

I tried to seek for help hoping that it could still be revived.  Then I heard the bombshell!  “It is the motherboard.”

Aaaah… I just had to accept that its end has come.

And I just have to accept that Old Pal is… old! 

Goodbye, old pal.  Thank you for your goodness, for the loyalty, and for your remarkable service.  Though I should quickly find your replacement, I will never forget you, and maybe, miss you sometimes. 

***

You may need an extra income.

For some creative individuals out there, maybe these ideas are too basic.  Yes, they are.  But I have tried these before and up to now.  I can see the earning potential of some ideas below which I want to share with you. 

I am not a pro on this and I stopped earning extra when I decided to focus on raising kids and career.  I just want to give some ideas I have in mind for the sake of having something useful to blog about this moment.

1.  Tutoring Math and Science subjects / homeworks to gradeschoolers.  Before I started working (I’m referring to the 8-5 work sched), I was already tutoring 4 gradeschoolers from different levels. I could have earned PhP400 per hour then but I slashed the charges into half since my pupils were relatives and I did it in my house plus the sessions were as per my own scheduling.  And that was way back in 2002.  Now, tutoring fees range from P120-P200 per hour per head depending upon your caliber as a tutor.

2.  Thesis Consultation.  This might demand most of your time.  My first client paid me P5000.00 for four thesis frameworks I made, actually it was not plain consultation… I ended up actually making the frameworks, from thinking of a good thesis title, researching, up to encoding.  It was in 2005, and the pay out was equivalent to P1250 per framework.  It was not bad for a beginner like me during that time.

3.  Desktop-printing.  I charged my clients P5/bond paper for black-and-white text only-documents and P10/bond paper colored-text-only-documents.  Since I was using deskjet printer, I seldom accepted printing jobs with a lot of images and photos because they would be ink-consuming.  Now I don’t do this anymore because I choose to just take a rest and be with my kids after work.

4.  Video-making from Digital Photos.  I attempted to earn money from creating video from digital photos before. I made a lot of these from my own collections of photos of my family.  I 2007, I made one for a colleague’s wedding but I decided to just give it to her for free, as a wedding gift to her.  Afterall, I enjoyed while I was doing it since it’s one of my hobbies.  Normally, photo studios and professional photographers in our area would charge a client P1,500 - P2,500 per video cd or dvd made from 100 digital photos. 

5.  CD or DVD burning.  If you have a PC with CD/DVD burner, you can earn PhP50.00 per cd or dvd for burning 10 songs of your client’s choice. 

6. Designing  Customized cards.  It’s also among my passions designing invitation cards and thank you cards like the one below.

sample of my custom-designed card

I’ve been into websurfing, blogging, internet researching… also attempted to make money from these activities.  I’ve signed up on different websites that promised commissions or dollar pay out etc… I took surveys and gave my opinions and ideas to try to make money, refer friends to some sites, but guess what?  I haven’t earned a peso from any of these activities ever since I discovered internet almost 10 years ago. 

What I got were a lot of spams in my inbox.  I got mails from unknown sender since then, most of them offering different networking or sort-of-pyramiding schemes that look very much like scams and hoax emails.  The nice thing was, I did not fall into the trap of putting out my money into these questionable internet marketing schemes.

Up to now, I still wonder if there are really legitimate work-at-home jobs on the web.  I believe that if really there are some, it will be like finding a needle on the haystacks to find one.

On last Sunday’s The Buzz, the death of Rustom Padilla was formally announced, followed by the birth of Bebe Gandanghari.

While watching Rustom-the matinee idol of the 90’s, or Bebe (pronounced as Bibi) as he wanted to be called now, I wondered how the ex-wife-of-the-ex-dramatic actor (now an ex-male) Carmina Villaruel would feel about it.  If I were in her shoe, maybe I’d feel a little ‘umay’ because… well… ‘honey’, ‘maruja’, etc… plus the nights they shared as married couples…

Remember how they showed affection to each other in public?  Then suddenly, the man of her dreams became a  woman-trapped-inside a man’s body.  I just can’t imagine!  I think that the ex-wife was so awkward for sometime even to talk about him, much so to see him on TV modelling.  Maybe, just maybe… this is just an opinion.  I don’t have any negative feelings toward gays, I am only referring to this particular issue (peace po mga Ka-bading!)

But geerally, In fact, when I stared at Bebe onscreen, I saw a beautiful person with an extraordinary courage of admitting to the public of his sexual preference (that’s tough), which is completely different from the image he projected in the past (this made it even tougher).  That is really COURAGE! 

Plus I saw decency on his character, and kindness for forgiving people who judge him because of his preference.  Sige na nga Bebe… good luck!  Enjoy life!

The economic downturn especially during mid-2007 has created a valuable teaching moment for me as I watched and heard news about big companies closing down, thousands of employees being laid-off, extreme unemployment rate rising, etc. It was quite alarming but at the same time, it made me so grateful and thankful for being able to keep my job.  However, it is still saddening that even us who still keep our jobs are affected in many ways by the current financial crisis. 

To help myself begin the New Year with a proper info on where my finances actually stand, I once and for all took time to confront every detail of my finances for the whole 2009.  And guess what I found out? … my expenses far exceeds my earning and if I’m not going to plan carefully, I’d drown to personal financial crisis before midyear. So that’s why….  that I should have learned earlier that from the time I started working, I should have been aware that I should be living on a budget, but it was never in my vocabulary before.  And that had it not been due to the kind-heart (yiiiiiihiiiiiii) and generosity of our parents, I’d have gone bankrupt a long time ago.  And for the first time, I caught my mind playing with the notion of financial consciousness… this only means that I’d try to become more conscious on my spending habit from now on… ignorance and neglect of which made me poor in yearend 2008.

Ever heard of the saying, those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it?  It is only now that I really pay attention to its connotation.  So before I throw myself to bankruptcy at year end 2009, I have carefully planned my budget and promised (errr… try my very best) to stick to it and try not to spend the way I did in the past.  Because of this, …. tsarraaaan…..a more ‘realistic’ planning is… well… set and to be followed this month.  Plus… I have made some resolutions to serve as guide to financial awareness this 2009.

1.  Conscious spending.  So many items in our expenses list have to be crossed out and well, forget muna, until we finally get over with the cost of diapers and infant milk and vaccinations. Since Iggy-pongpong Ompong was born, almost ¼ of our earnings is alloted to him plus the monthly salary of his nanny which was absent from our 2007 budget.  It had caused major adjustment on our budget.

2.  Impulsive buying is a no-no especially if not on our ‘to buy items’ list.  I’d control myself not to give in to my kids’ wishes i.e. buying toys that they already had before.  Beside the fact that I swear to freeze when they ask for toys, they’d get what they wish for from their groovy grannies anyway without me spending a dime (whooahhha!!!).

3. Pay out some advances from past spendings. It’s peaceful living on what you only have and not having to worry about debts and all.

4. Save!  Save!  Save!  Although it’s going to be harder this year, I’ll try my best to save for the future.  Afterall, there’s nothing different with having more and having less… just the same, we still have the same lifestyle.

Year 2008 will be over in just a few days.  As I look back at the start of this year, I’d say I’m quite contented and feeling blessed on what my life has been in the past months.  I have checked and crossed out two items on my wish list, since they were granted as early as the first quarter.

A childhood dream came true when I was able to experience Disneyland.  I was half-hearted though because I was not able to bring the kids along.  That replaced my wishlist item into ‘be able to bring my kids to the Land of Mickey and Minnie’ someday.  I just hope that this time it would be Anaheim or Florida (Big dreamer!!! But who cares? After all, dreams really come true). And as for the other granted wish, I’d like to keep it to myself and I don’t intend to blog about it.

Iggy was born on the last quarter.  Although I was not ready to become a mom again, I was so happy and grateful to have him in our family.  I am really in love with this little angel and was always crazy for him.

Careerwise, I can say that I am so lucky because inspite of bad economy, I still have my job and still enjoying it.  I am wishing for a prosperous 2009 for my family and for everyone!!!

It’s my birthday today.  One year added to my age.  As for myself, this is just an ordinary day of transition from being 30 to 31, which became special because of family and friends who greeted.  I got a tight hug from my hubby, sweet kisses and birthday song from my kids, an overseas call from my family and greetings from relatives, friends and colleagues.  They made my birth-day special!!!  Thanks for remembering, guys! 

When I became a mother, I think of birthdays as the celebrant’s mother’s birthday as well or as I call it, her re-Birth Day.  I know not everyone feels the same way otherwise the way kid’s birthday celebrations are done would have been celebrated differently.  I still followed the traditional way of throwing birthday party when my kids turned one (the succeeding birthdays were more of a family affair) but I celebrate my children’s birthdays on a different intellectual and emotional plane.

There is a saying that ‘nakabaon sa hukay ang isang paa ng nanay kapag nanganganak’.  It is true.  During giving birth to my first child, I thought I’d die because the labor pain was not something ordinary (ask any mother about it).  The pains were too intense that I almost thought I’d never make it.  In fact, it was so unbearable that after 12 hours of labor pain and an almost-near-death-experience (I have a very low pain threshhold – ask Ge), I had to undergo a CS.  Then I realized how much aches and pains my mother had gone through before I was born and after.  A mother puts her own life to risk during delivery. And I knew of some mothers who lost their own lives while giving birth and after giving birth.  So whenever this day comes or when my siblings’s birthday comes, I celebrate to commemorate the day my mother gave birth to us her children, and the day she was given another life to spend with us her children.

          The first day my son Abby heard a christmas song on videoke channel, he never stopped asking me to put our christmas tree on display.  I had no plans of putting on any christmas decors at home this year but since Abby was very insistent, I promised to assemble it when I had time. 

           Kids have their own way (a strong determination) of getting what they want.  I have seen it again on Abby when for weeks he never stopped reminding me that I promised him about the xmas tree.  One evening, I agreed to finally get the tree and its decors from the cabiet on the condition that he had to put all the decors by himself.  His daddy assembled the upper part of the tree and Abby put on the rest.  I was so amazed that at the age of three, he managed to hang all the decors with a little help from us. (Maybe he’ll become a designer or an artist someday-hehehe).  At least, we now have one thing around the house that reminds us that Christmas is indeed coming to town! Thanks to Abby.

          Let me borrow Ge’s former blogname for the title of this blog (even without her approval-hehehe… I know she won’t mind and if she does, I don’t mind - JOKE!).  When I read her blog “The Essence of a woman is…” I fell into deep introspection.  I wonder how my boys would answer if somebody would ask them who are the most influential persons in their lives and why.  It’s quite scary to think that they would say it’s us their parents.  It’s even scarier to think how they would elaborate on their answer.

          I really wonder what my sons would say about us.  I admit I am not a perfect mother.  In fact, I often hear my sons complain about my ‘nagging’ or shall I call it preaching?.  There was a time when my 4-year old even warned me to shut up or he would leave the house.  There was this time when I was telling him that it is bad to butt in when adults are talking, and he just rolled his eyes and covered his both ears, like saying ‘there you go again, shut up, mom!’.  One time, he asked me if he could play outside and before I could even say anything, he began singing “Hayaan mong maglaro ang bata sa araw…”  While Abby, my 3 year-old seconded, “I got stinky, messy, but you see… I learned,” mimicking a TV commercial. How could I say no in such instances?  Ofcourse, I gave in. 

          I am currently struggling as a parent in terms of how to keep my children on the right path while our social environment is not an ideal place to raise responsible, obedient and God-fearing children.  This adds up to the challenge.

          Even my parenting skills are lacking and I know that the way I discipline my children is a big factor on how their behavior and attitude would develop.  Because my kids are smart, I often wrongly assumed that they were mature enough to know what is right and wrong, and when something went wrong, I got easily disappointed and punished them immediately for their wrongdoings only to realize later that I should have had guided them on the right direction - my mistake! 

          Some relatives and neighbors would jokingly tell me… “ipaghanda mo na ng pangpiyansa si Ully.”  I would just respond with a smile but whenever I hear comments like this, my heart pounds so fast and fear fills my mind.  What if my sons get along with an unsavory group of peers when they grow up?  Would I let my kids to stay late at night like most children do in our neighborhood?  How do I train my kids to establish good habits so that they will be armed with good values and attitudes which they may use to refuse bad influences later in life?

          Now, I don’t only have one kid to train but three little boys to raise and I am a freshman when it comes to parenting and disciplining kids.  I know it’s going to be a life time of extremely hardwork to become a diligent parent.  But I need to always remember that I have to ensure that my children will grow up to be productive individuals by guiding them into the right direction.  Meanwhile, my husband and I will need  to learn how to deal with them more tactfully and to make our home a place where they can be KIDS… where they are accepted, loved and valued regardless of what they do or say.  Another difficult challenges for us…